Rebecca Masinter

Parshas Bo - Family Focused Festivals

Welcome! The mitzvah of Korban Pesach, and the celebration of the holiday of Pesach as introduced in Parshas Bo centers around the family unit. When Hashem gave the mitzvah to Moshe He stressed the korban Pesach has to be שֶׂ֥ה לְבֵית־אָבֹ֖ת שֶׂ֥ה לַבָּֽיִת, a lamb for each parent-led household. It is eaten family by family and must be within the family home. When Moshe, in turn, related the mitzvah to the elders of Bnai Yisrael, he said: מִֽשְׁכ֗וּ וּקְח֨וּ לָכֶ֥ם צֹ֛אן לְמִשְׁפְּחֹתֵיכֶ֖ם וְשַׁחֲט֥וּ הַפָּֽסַח׃ Draw and take for yourselves a sheep for your families, and offer the Pesach sacrifice. Why did the Pesach celebration have to be centered around families? Perhaps some people feel closer to their friends than their families. Why can’t groups of friends get together for the Korban Pesach? On a similar note, we may wonder why Moshe was so insistent that every single Jew, young and old, male and female, must leave Mitzrayim to celebrate with Hashem. Wasn’t Pharoah reasonable in suggesting that only adult males were necessary for the service? וַיֹּ֣אמֶר מֹשֶׁ֔ה בִּנְעָרֵ֥ינוּ וּבִזְקֵנֵ֖ינוּ נֵלֵ֑ךְ בְּבָנֵ֨ינוּ וּבִבְנוֹתֵ֜נוּ בְּצֹאנֵ֤נוּ וּבִבְקָרֵ֙נוּ֙ נֵלֵ֔ךְ כִּ֥י חַג־ה' לָֽנוּ׃ Moshe replied, “We will all go, young and old: we will go with our sons and daughters, our flocks and herds; for we must observe Hashem’s festival. The Torah is teaching us a fundamental idea. Jewish families are at the heart of all Divine service and celebration. The family lies at the heart of the nation, and each person in the family is integral. Young and old, male and female, each member of a family is vital and we can’t celebrate unless we’re all together. The Rabeinu B’Chai says: למשפחותיכם מכאן שחייב אדם לקרב קרוביו כדי שישמחו עמהם בימים טובים, וכן בימות הגאולה הבטיחנו הקב"ה להתקרב איש אל משפחתו שנאמר (ירמיהו ל׳:ח׳) בעת ההיא נאם ה' אהיה לאלקים לכל משפחות ישראל. “We learn from here that a person is obligated to bring his relatives close so that they will rejoice together with each other on holidays. And also, in the days of the ultimate redemption, Hashem has promised to create family closeness, and strengthen the close relationships of family members, as it says in the Navi, Yirmiyahu, ‘ at that time says Hashem, I will be a God for all the families of Israel’." It’s noteworthy that Rabeinu B’Chai doesn’t say we celebrate holidays together with our families because we’ll be happier with them than we would be with other people. We don’t do it because it’s most fun or easiest! He says we are obligated to bring our families together to celebrate Yamim Tovim so that we will rejoice with each other. The message may be that it takes work to rejoice with a family. It doesn’t always happen automatically. Holidays may indeed be more fun and certainly less complicated with friends, but we have an obligation to pull our families together for holidays so we can learn to rejoice with each other, to develop true simcha within our families. We have an obligation to make sure that each person in our families is included and feels themselves integral to the celebration. We can and must invest effort into our Shabbosos and Yamim Tovim so that everyone rejoices together in our homes. “With our young and with our old”; this lesson is introduced to us at the very beginning of our nation, because the idea is integral and relevant to all of us forever.