Rebecca Masinter

Parshas Bo - Don't Bear the Burden Alone

Parshas Bo begins with Hashem telling Moshe, בֹּ֖א אֶל־פַּרְעֹ֑ה “Come to Pharaoh”. The age old question is asked, why say “Come ” instead of “Go to Pharaoh”. Surely, “Go to Pharaoh” is more accurate? The classic answer is that Hashem is telling Moshe and all leaders of the Jewish people after him, “You are not alone. I will be right there in the throne room as you approach, supporting you and guiding you. I’m not sending you on a mission with the word “go”, I am calling you to come close to me as you fulfill this mission, “Come”. Sometimes we bear the responsibility of parenting until it feels like a burden on our shoulders. This is a mistake. There are three partners in every child; a father, a mother, and Hashem. Hashem’s role doesn’t end at birth. He remains part of the parenting triumvirate. What's more, this partnership is not an equal three-way split. His role in parenting your child is infinitely more powerful, loving and effective than yours. When the job seems too large, when you don’t know what to do next, when you’re disappointed with yourself as a mother, turn to Him. Ask Him for help – both general and specific. He is with you, and present as your partner as you mother. The burden is not yours, it's not mine, it's ultimately His. This thought is the one that gives me the most chizuk as I raise my children. I know without a doubt that I don’t have the knowledge to know what is best for my kids or the power to give it to them, but Hashem does. In a very real and practical way, I turn to Hashem and ask Him to show me what He wants me to do for my children next. I try to let go of feeling overwhelmed or confused by lifting the burden off my back and putting it where it belongs. I tell Him that I don’t know what the right thing is, but I want to do His will as we together parent my children, and ask that He please show me what He wants me to do. These few moments of prayer reorient me so that I don’t expect more from myself than I can give, they relax me as I release a burden that was never mine to bear, and they give me peace as I deeply accept that Hashem is running the world and caring for my children and myself. We can all take a moment during the day to say a tefila like this one: Hashem, I know that you love my child and me very much. I know that my child and I are both your children. I need your guidance to parent my child because I can’t do it alone. Please care for my child and for me. Help us both feel your love and guidance. Please show me the next right thing for me to do. Please help me figure out how to be a reflection of you as I mother my child. Hashem doesn’t send leaders on missions alone. He is right there with us. All we need to do is be aware of it and ask for His help.